Stone the Preacher

490 years ago one man did something outrageous: He challenged the assumptions of those who misrepresented the man who did something wonderful 2000 years ago.

Here is a rare image of Martin Luther nailing a Gospel tract to the Wittenberg door. Read a brief bio here.

Maybe next year you will want to throw one of these together.

These descriptions of Hell Houses come from the liberal leaning Wikipedia; keep this in mind when reading the rest of the article.

A hell house, also commonly known as a Doom House or Judgment House, is a haunted house-style attraction typically run by North American fundamentalist Christian churches or parachurch groups. These attractions are meant to depict the divine judgments that await unrepentant sinners and the torments of the damned in Hell. They are typically operated in the days preceding Halloween although by definition, they are not part of the holiday.

A hell house, like a conventional haunted house attraction, is a space set aside in which actors attempt to frighten patrons with gruesome exhibits. Unlike the conventional haunted house attraction, the hell house focuses on occasions and effects of sin, or the fate of unrepentant sinners in the afterlife. The motivation for the event occurring during the month of October before Halloween is to take advantage of the similarities between hell houses and conventional haunted houses. Read the rest here.

Just in time for Halloween, something that is really scary: The HELL AND PUNISHMENT Site!
 If a fool comes to your door dressed in an atheist costume, put a Gospel tract in his candy bag and wish him well with a quote from the site like this one by Hyman Jedidiah Appleman (1902 - 1983):

“Should you make your abode in hell, you will see the burning faces, the glazed eyes, the tortured hands of fellow prisoners of damnation. You will recognize, God forbid, husband, wife, father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, friend, neighbor, that you could easily have taken to heaven as dragged down to hell. Oh, that awful mass of weeping, wailing humanity that inhabits hell!”

BOO!

Over the last several weeks I’ve featured lame, ridiculous Jesus-wear (Weak, Wimpy—and Wrong—Witness) that unintentionally mocks the cause and urgency of Biblical evangelism. But now I want to feature some clothing that will actually start a conversation: “The Smell of Death” T shirt. Dale and Anna Jackson are part of the creative team at Way of the Master who also have a small side business called EvangelismStuff.com that puts out some very good stuff that is guaranteed to get people to ask, “What does your shirt mean?”

Like most of our designs, this is meant to be a conversation starter. The front says “104 every 60 seconds” and then contains two chemical symbols.

are you ready to face God? needGod.com

If you are put off by this in-your-face, uh, nose—witness, then you can always be a wimp and pull out the JesPez… that’s right, a Jesus Pez dispenser!

And no, you cannot get this at EvangelismStuff.com!
(Thanks to ALittleLeaven.com for the Pez)

The L. A. Times reported on Friday that a couple in Escondido narrowly escaped with their lives when a fire engulfed their home. How they escaped their doom was amazing.
“With no time to escape, Roger and his wife, Dena, did the only thing they could think of to survive: They jumped into their swimming pool, according to Roger’s daughter, Kimberly Miley. Wrapping wet towels around their heads to protect them from the fire’s heat, thick smoke and red-hot embers, the Bielaszes sat on an underwater ledge in the pool for more than three hours shivering in the cold water as their home, just feet away, burned to the ground.”

Unfortunately, their neighbors were not so blessed. The authorities confirmed that the remains of two adults were found in the house next to the Bielaszes.
Read the story here.

Charles Finney (1792-1875) wrote: “Make it an object of constant study, and of daily reflection and prayer, to learn how to deal with sinners so as to promote their conversion.”

These are the latest graduates from the Hope Chapel evangelism class. Unfortunately, there is usually a drop off of about 50% in most classes, this one being no exception. Out of the nearly 20 people who enrolled, 11 made it through the 6 week course.

But hey! That’s 11 more trained to “Go!”

Yami Rodriguez was the high scorer this round. She had the choice of taking home a genuine Veg O’ Matic, circa the 1960’s, or…

…a plethora of prizes including books, CD’s, posters, etc.

She chose the latter.

The next class begins on November 6, for six Tuesday nights. Join us.

Back in May I posted an article on Holy Hubert, a man who preached faithfully on the campus of Berkeley and was severely persecuted for his efforts. (Read it here.)

“Violent reaction to Holy Hubert’s bold evangelism put him in the hospital a dozen times at California’s radical Berkeley campus. He was blinded in 1965 during a vicious attack by a mob of protesters. Twice he miraculously regained his sight, but blindness returned 18 years after the attack.
Beatings by the Black Panthers, the Hell’s Angels and the Manson family are only part of the price Hubert Lindsey has paid for preaching the Gospel to this generation.”

On occasion we are taken to task by well-meaning (yet clueless) Christians who question the value of our open air preaching efforts. I was pleasantly surprised last night to read this comment from a reader who was a persecutor of Holy Hubert in the 60’s but became a Christian as a result of his tireless efforts. Read this from Robert:

“I remember Holy Hubert Lindsay’s open air preaching on the 2400 block of Telegraph Avenue, Berkeley, California about 1966. I was a lad of 15 joining with some in the crowd throwing pennies near the feet of “Hube” in mock tribute. Now I would like to pay tribute to Hubert Lindsay for the glory of the all knowing God who awakened this kid in a big way. I am so glad our Lord used this red faced man born for controversy to reach myself and so many others during that era. It’s well recognized that there was a large scale awakening among youth for the next decade. There were plenty of others involved (does anyone remember Ray Chisholm) but few who matched the fearless preaching of Holy Hube. Thank God for this work.”

Another reminder that God’s Word never returns empty… even when the bottles that are thrown at us are.

Here’s yet another reason why I try not to patronize Starbucks. I do however, enjoy Peet’s Coffee, even though there is an angry server there who hates me with a passion; that story will be told next week.

BY ANNA (BANANA) JACKSON

If you follow this blog, you may remember reading a while back about a coffee house ministry that I was involved in for the last four months at a local Starbucks. (Two gals, Anita and Liz, had been asked to play and sing there on Tuesday nights.
They set up a tract table, and then they allowed me to tag along to share the gospel on the mike a couple of times a night. Read the story here.)

Well, about three weeks ago the assistant manager happened to be in while we were there. Normally she was not there while we were “performing;” in fact, I had never even seen her, only the other two gals had talked to her before. And although nothing was ever hidden from her, we all had our doubts that she really understood what we were doing. Last Tuesday evening she picked up one of our coffee trivia tracts. Then she came around to me as I was standing by the tract table.
She walked up holding it and said, “This is really great!” I had no idea who she was and I immediately assumed she was a Christian who had read the gospel message and was telling how great she thought this outreach was. I started reaching for a copy of Hell’s Best Kept Secret to hand to her while saying offhandedly, “So, you’re a Christian?” She looked puzzled and replied, “No.” I stopped reaching for HBKS and sort of stood there awkwardly trying to figure out what in the world she thought was “great.” She paused for a second then continued, “I think this coffee trivia is a great way to expand the coffee house experience. I’d like to share this with all the other managers at our regional meeting (or something like that). Would that be alright?” Now I knew who she was. “Um, sure,” I peeped. And then I thought to myself, Well, that’s it… when we arrive next week, after she’s read that thing all the way through, we’re outa here.

The next week we arrived; all three of us expecting to see her standing there scowling… but there was nothing. We did the outreach as usual, all of us surprised. The week after that, it was the same… no one stopped us. Then it finally happened.

The girls had already set up and were ready to begin when a different assistant manager came up very apologetically, but somewhat coldly, saying that we were welcome to play music and sing, but we would not be allowed to pass out literature or “ask those questions” on the mike anymore. She said that they liked the coffee trivia paper but that on the back when it started talking about our “religion” it sounded very “exclusive”—as if it was the only right religion. She also said that a customer had complained about us asking those “questions” on the mike, and she didn’t think it was appropriate.

Anita was very gracious and friendly to her. She told the assistant manager that if we weren’t going to be allowed to pass out the literature or talk to people on the mike then it wouldn’t be worth our time to be there. The manager again said she didn’t want to offend us, but these were Starbucks’ policies. Anita told her that we understood and we thanked them very much for the opportunity we’d had already. Then Anita told her that God had used them to spread the gospel over the last four months. We had a very amiable parting.

The three of us sat down and had a cup of coffee. We figured out that over the last four months we’ve probably given out more than 2,000 tracts and well over 100 CDs and DVDs; in addition we verbally preached the Gospel to several hundred people. What a fruitful window of opportunity God gave us here. He actually blinded the eyes of Starbucks management for more than four months so that He could accomplish His own purposes.

Read two other Starbucks stories: “God of Starbucks” where I ask the question: “Should Christians patronize Starbucks?” and “The Shepherd of Brokeback Mountain,” an encounter with a gay Barista.

A die-hard “atheist” by the fictional name of The Pagan Wolf  has written a manual called SIMPLE COUNTER-EVANGELISM 101 that teaches people how to ward off an evangelist’s “attack.” The funny thing is, the techniques would actually really work if God were not involved in the evangelism process. Though poorly written and full of typos it still had some neat ideas.

Here is a section called “Counters for Icebreakers,” which teaches adherents how to resist and annoy an evangelist who hands out a Gospel tract:

1) Get yourself a pair of mirrored shades and an mp3 player. When approached by someone with a tract, put on your shades and activate your mp3 player. Say nothing and just look at them. After 20-30 seconds, they will take the hint.2) If you are with someone, if you are able, switch to another language. If they persist, only answer them in said language. Eventually they will either embarrass themselves or move on.

Since August 13, Tatsuo Akimine has preached everyday at the Torrance DMV. After he’s done there, he moves on to the Social Security Administration just up the street. He must preach from the sidewalk because the Security guard has banned him from the property. I went to the Social Security office this morning and stood in line incognito, notepad in hand, gauging the reactions of the “captive audience” standing with me. I was truly surprised at the comments I heard in response to this crazy evangelist.
At 8:40 AM, about fifteen people were in line. Tatsuo took this time to get a little encouragement from the Word and to pray. Only a few of the “regulars” knew what was coming…

At 8:45 he starts his 10 minute sermon (read it here) that takes his congregation through the 10 Commandments…
…warning them that if they have broken just one, then they will be found guilty on Judgment Day and end up in Hell for eternity. Then the good news of Christ’s forgiveness is offered, if they would only repent and trust in Him. He must compete with the deafening traffic on Crenshaw Blvd. behind him. I thought it was interesting that when he got to the 7th Commandmant, “Do not commit adultery,” someone honked his horn long and loud.

In line I heard a woman say to a friend, “I don’t believe in Hell.” And with a mild hint of disgust she huffed, “Everyone has their own opinion about this.” Overall, the line was quiet, either listening to the sermon or pretending not to listen by reading their newspapers and turning up the volume of the iPods.

The Security guard pulled into the parking lot on a bright red chopper. A burly man, he took his time taking off his helmet and jacket, thrust out his chest in an I’m in charge way, turned sideways just long enough to let everyone see the gun holstered menacingly to his side then… looked at the twenty or so standing in line, rolled his eyes toward the preacher, and walked away.

“Open the doors!” someone shouted. A few laughed at that one.

Tatsuo preached on and on.

I asked people what they thought of this man after his sermon was finished. Here are their various reactions:

“He has nothing better to do than preach!”

“I believe he thinks he’s doing what’s right. It’s his duty to try and save all our souls; he’s not doing it to be rude. It’s my duty to save my own soul. My relationship to God is my business.”

“I ignored him. There’s enough preaching going around; I don’t need it at the Social Security office. He believes in his cause; it’s not my cause.”

“If I wanted to hear a sermon, I’d go to church.

It’s not exactly how I want to start my morning.”

“He didn’t realize that he’s preaching to the choir. It’s a good thing.”

“I give him two thumbs up for coming out and preaching it.”

After the doors opened I went inside to ask Security guard, Tony Williams, what he thought: “A regular guy.”
Tony then addressed the line that was now inside the building shuffling papers and finding seats. “I let him stay out there for you guys!” he said with a knowing smile.

I asked a couple of black ladies what they thought. “He should get his own congregation. You don’t push Jesus on people.”

A man who claimed that he was an atheist wasn’t offended. “I don’t believe in God, so it goes in one ear and out the other. He’s just voicng his beliefs… nothing wrong with that.”

One person understood his purpose when she said, “He’s a modern-day Noah.”
And another appreciated his integrity by validating what he was doing: “I think he’s more real than the guys on T.V. asking for money. He said [in his sermon], ‘No money.’ ”

What do you think of all this open air preaching? Is it valid? Crazy? Should we do this in today’s modern society? Is this complete foolishness or what?

John Wesley (1703-1791) wrote in his diary about his own burden for open air preaching:
 ”I preached on the quay, at Kingswood, and near King’s Square. To this day field-preaching is a cross to me. But I know my commission and see no other way of ‘preaching the Gospel to every creature.’”

If you’d like to visit this modern day Noah and offer your encouragement, he preaches at the Torrance DMV at 7:45AM (I brought my men’s group there for our evangelism lesson), and he starts at 8:45 at the Social Security office.

Read about Tatsuo’s confrontation with two angry ladies here.

This is truly a weak and wimpy witness. Really! No one needs to wear these items to start up a conversation about spiritual things. The last thing anyone will want to do is ask you a question about Jesus if they see you wearing a hat like this. Read an analysis of the design flaws as critiqued by A Little Leaven below:

Design flaw #1: This looks like the type of hat a blue-collar guy would wear BUT the Intel logo knock-off would only be appealing to computer geeks.

Design flaw #2: The orange sherbet color scheme is VERY metro-sexual.

The only people who would actually buy this hat are Biblically illiterate metro-sexual computer geeks who want to look more like cooler blue-collar guys while at the same time are trying to make some kind of a statement for Jesus. That is probably a very small segment of the market. Therefore, we don’t anticipate seeing too many of these hats in the wild.

If you buy the hat, then you may as well get the slippers, too. How else to keep those feet beautiful when spreading the Good News?

See more “Weak Witnesses” here.

At least four people were killed in a blinding sandstorm that created a huge pile-up of cars on a freeway just north of L.A. Dozens of others were injured.

“All my family was in this van, all 11,” said Fernando Amaral Pontes, standing near the wreckage of his vehicle on the desert highway.

Spurgeon talks of the perseverence of one open air preacher, John Furz, who encountered a bit of opposition when he preached.

“Once recommenced, the fruitful agency of field-preaching was not allowed to cease… The preachers needed to have faces set like flints, and so indeed they had. John Furz says: ‘As soon as I began to preach, a man came straight forward, and presented a gun at my face; swearing that he would blow my brains out, if I spake another word.
However, I continued speaking, and he continued swearing, sometimes putting the muzzle of the gun to my mouth, sometimes against my ear. While we were singing the last hymn, he got behind me, fired the gun, and burned off part of my hair.’

“After this, my brethren, we ought never to speak of petty interruptions or annoyances.”
—From Charles Spurgeon’s sermon: Open-Air Preaching—A Sketch of its History and Remarks Hereon

A new neighbor is moving in next door. My family greeted her kindly and I offered that I was a pastor “at a church just up the street called Hope Chapel.”

“Oh,” she replied. “What kind of church is it?”

Instead of explaining the complicated distinctions of a Foursquare church, I casually said that we are “born-again Christians.”

“Really?” she said smiling. “I need to be born again.”

Say that again?

I looked for the hidden camera.

Just because someone says they are a Christian does not mean that they are a Christian; talk is cheap. Not many Christians know why they are Christians even if they are Christians. This poor guy didn’t really know what he believes, so I explained to him what he should believe. Then he sang a little song. Below, please read some tips on how to deal with people who may be false converts.

Here are four “EV Tips” articles to help with those who may not necessarily be saved:
Click here to read “P.E.E.P.!”

Click here to read “Decisions, Decisions”

Click here to read “Witnessing to Phony Christians”!

Click here to read “10 Reasons Not to Ask Jesus into Your Heart”

Our evangelism team is heading down to Huntington Beach again where we will join Ray and his Way of the Master crew for an experience to remember! Meet at Hope Chapel at noon. We will leave promptly at 12:30.
Read about the first time we preached with Ray and the various techniques he uses to attract and manage a crowd here.

And read about our Stop Light preaching across the street from Ray here.

World magazine reports that atheists have a public relations problem:
“A University of Minnesota poll last year found that atheists were America’s most distrusted group. According to a recent Newsweek poll, 62% of Americans would refuse to vote for an atheist running for president.”

As a result of their unpopularity, atheists are trying to rebrand themselves as ” the brights.”
According to their website, a “bright” is “any individual whose worldview is free of supernatural or mystical forces and entities…”

A rose by any other name is still a rose, and according to the Bible…
an atheist by any other name is still a fool.

A few months ago I wrote about a book written by “Emergent” author John Shore called “I’m OK–You’re Not” that said there was no longer any need for evangelism in America because everyone has already heard the Gospel. He wrote, “I honestly think the very best way to evangelize is not to evangelize at all. Just live your life.”
In direct violation of Christ’s Commandment to “Go!” Mr. Shore encourages Christians to keep their mouths shut and just be nice. The author read the post on my blog and protested that it wasn’t fair for me to take his book to task because I had never read it.
Well, I’m considering the possibility of buying it after reading this statement from him at his Navpress web page:

“Controversy’s over!

“When that book first came out, a fair number of people got pretty angry at its main idea, which is that The Great Commission and The Great Commandment are (at this point, in this country) incompatible. But once people actually read the book, the “controversy” disappeared. Anyone who reads it can just tell that I only want what’s best for us all. (Plus, if I say so myself, I’m OK does make an awfully strong case. Which of course helps with the whole “controversy” thing: Hard to argue too strenuously with someone who is at least being rational.)”

Here’s why I think we all should buy the book: The publisher will refund your money if you don’t like it; all you have to do is tear off the front cover and mail it back to them. You can then take the remainder of Mr. Shore’s book and use it for kindling now that the weather is cooler.
Read all the negative reviews of his book here by scrolling down.
Go to the “Heresy Watchdog” site featuring this book here.

A Christian legal organization has launched a petition drive asking Radio Disney to stop censoring the word “God” from advertising promoting the new movie, The Ten Commandments. Liberty Counsel founder Mat Staver says he recently received a copy of an email from a Radio Disney advertising executive that instructed that the phrase “chosen by God” be omitted from ads playing on the network. The animated movie by Promenade Pictures opens this Friday in theaters nationwide. Read the rest here.

I don’t cry.
I’m a man. Men don’t cry. One exception. Okay four. I cried—and cheered—four times. I’ve seen this movie four times. Rent it. Buy it. Lend it to an unsaved friend… I lent it to my Dad who is not a Christian; my wife thought he would turn it off half way through. He didn’t. Great door opener, if you need one. Did I mention that I cried four times? Click here to get a copy. Make sure you watch the Special Features; you won’t believe it.

75 strong, the Grossmont Griffins emptied the chafing dishes at Hometown Buffet. I took advantage of the situation by handing every player a Million Dollar Bill Gospel tract.

Their coaches, wives, friends, and hangers-on all got one as well. I wasn’t afraid because God was on my side. Management was not as brave. They made an announcement that the team could not pay for their lunch with the funny money.

An author and White House correspondent says while President Bush doesn’t mind being called an evangelical president by others, he doesn’t like to label himself that way.
“I don’t think Bush is one to proselytize,” says the author. Click here to read the rest of the story.

(YOU MUST READ PART 1 FIRST BY CLICKING HERE!)

We followed the guy drinking two beers…

…as he flowed with the river, the crushing red, er, cardinal tide, the tsunami of party hardies, literally thousands, upon thousands, upon thousands, of Trojan fans—all heading to the same place: The Coliseum entrance!
Swept along, hands to our sides, the band of evangelists was helpless, adrift in a riptide of dissipation, emptying into one huge, glorious, teeming lagoon of the lost.

No time to waste! No time to waste! Look at the crowd! Look at the crowd! I couldn’t wait for the sound system to be set up; I hopped on my milkcrate! I could reach more “sinners” here with a 5-minute sermon than most churches could in a year! And people listened, or appeared to anyway. Hey! What else could they do? They weren’t going anywhere.
I preached boldly about how every person had broken at least one of the the 10 Commandments by either lying, stealing, or using God’s name in vain. I explained how lust was adultery, hatred, murder. That we all are guilty and all deserve Hell. I pleaded, reasoned, cried out that Christ died for them, that they had to repent and trust in Jesus to avoid God’s terrible punishment.

No one requested an encore.
But two sloshed young men tried to drown me out with a drunken dirge.

With the “Half-Mile Haler” operating, “Righteous” Richard took the crate.

And oh! What an enthusiastic response from the mob!

Obviously, he was encouraging the preacher with, “Amen! Preach it, brother!” No? No one requested an encore.

I caught a lady peeking and smiling behind the Coliseum chain link fence.
“We’re not Jehovah’s Witnesses,” I shouted.

“I know,” she replied agreeably. “You’re Christians!”

Yes. We are Christians. That’s why we do this irksome task as Spurgeon called it. We love God and want to obey His command to go. Woe to us if we don’t preach the Gospel! Since we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men: USC men. Stanford men. Christ even died for the men of UCLA! While pondering all this I noticed a squirrely guy lurking on the outskirts of our little revival meeting.
Security!

“You are on private property,” he warned. “You’ll have to stop this!”

“Excuse me. This is public property and we have a right to be here,” I ever-so-gently explained with a warm, touching smile. Then I blew it. I snapped a picture of him.
He liked that, I figured, because he immediately got on the walkie-talkie and called the police.

What is it about people not wanting their pictures taken? When we invaded the Jehovah’s Witness Convention last year, Security chased us out and forced us to erase the picture. The Scientologist’s did the same thing when we snapped a pic in their Welcome Center; we ran, and two agents screamed after us on bikes!

Whatever security was planning to do, we had to keep preaching. No matter who came out to stop us—security, police, sheriffs, the C.I.A., National Guard—we had to keep on preaching!

Old-timer Barry was up next.
Look at that raised-hand action… straight out of Whitefield’s day! And look at that crowd! Look at that crowd! How many were there? 500? 1000? 2000?

Barry didn’t care; he just kept preaching and preaching…
…and preaching… much to the chagrin of Tatsuo who wanted a chance to get on the stump before the authorities came. Tatsuo has preached everyday at the Torrance DMV since August 13, and wanted a crack at the big-time. “I can reach more people here in 10 minutes, than two months at the DMV,” he gushed excitedly.

He got his chance.

And right after he started, the LAPD showed up.

I intercepted them.

Always remember: Keep the preacher preaching. The enemy would love to disrupt a gathering such as this. Stand between the police and the preacher. Be gracious. R.A. Torrey, a preacher at the turn of the 20th century said, “Don’t let your meeting be broken up. No matter what happens, hold your ground if you can, and you generally can.” That’s what we did. We held our ground. “You are on private property,” the Officer stated firmly. “You can’t be doing this.”

“Excuse me, sir. We are on public property and this is our First Amendment Right to do this,” I explained. “What law are we breaking?”

Tatsuo continued to preach, oblivious to what was going on behind him.

“You’re blocking the sidewalk,” the Officer continued. “You’re obstructing pedestrian traffic.”

“Officer, the gate at the entrance to the Coliseum is obstructing pedestrian traffic.

As you can see, there is no pedestrian traffic. None. That whole line of people is in the way, standing on the sidewalk.”

“People are getting really angry at what you are saying.
We are getting complaints and we don’t want a riot.”

“With all due respect, Officer, you are supposed to protect us from the rioters. You must protect our right to speak.” Tatsuo kept preaching.

The Officer then said, “Let me call my supervisor.”

“We’ll be outta here in a moment, sir. Please let him just finish.” I thought it rather strange that the police force would allow hundreds of people to traverse the USC campus, Exposition Park, and stand in line on a public sidewalk with open containers of alcohol, yet forbid us from speaking publicly, which is perfectly legal. The Officer called his Supervisor. Tatsuo finished his 10-minute sermon—no one from the line requested an encore—then we packed up to leave. The Officer very politely requested that we not put his picture on the web; that’s why we disguised both officers’ faces.

Then we met the Supervising Officer. He walked straight up to us and said very apologetically, “I want to let you know that you are on public property and you do have your First Amendment Right to speak. We just don’t want any trouble.”

We thanked him and moved to another line where our fifth evangelist, B.J., preached to a thinning crowd, now that the game had started.

No one requested an encore.

While waiting for the van to pick us up outside the USC entrance, I saw that the traffic lights were in effect again, and that people were stopping on the meridian in the center of the street. Yep. I ran. I still had a few minutes before the van showed up, got on the crate, and launched into my last sermon.

It was my last sermon because an inebriated fan jumped up on the box with me, gave me a hug—beer in hand—and launched into a sermon of his own.

No… I did not request an encore.

The next day, USA Today reported: It all led to an upset that shook USC coach Pete Carroll to his soul… “I just don’t accept it. I don’t know where to put it,” he said afterward. “I have no place for it. I’ll find a way to put it off for awhile, but I’ll have it forever.”

THE END
(E-vangie Tales will be back on Tuesday with more football related evangelism.)

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! NO ONE IS LISTENING!”

That was just one of the responses the evangelism team elicited at the USC/Stanford pre-game tailgate party held on the grounds surrounding the L.A. Coliseum. We encountered an irritated security guard, not a few sneers, and even a testy confrontation with the police! My wife was scared just looking at some of the pictures I showed of this event.

The contest ended with Stanford winning 24-23 over the Trojans in “one of the great upsets in college football history.” But nine evangelists upset—and encouraged—a significant percentage of the 87,000 in attendance before the game had even started…

The strategy was simple: Stand at the traffic signal near the entrance to the University of Southern California and witness to the fans as they crossed the street over to the Coliseum. When the light turned red, BAM! an instant concregation all dressed up for their church in red and yellow, I mean cardinal and gold outfits.
Immediately, I jumped on my milkcrate and delivered an exploratory 90 second sermonette, taking a small crowd through the 10 Commandments, warning of Judgment Day and Hell—then pleading for them to repent and trust in the Savior.

Not to be outdone, old-timer Barry Felis, who’s been evangelizing 30+ years, hopped on the box after me. Notice that he’s waving our custom designed red and yell—uh, cardinal and gold, USC tract (freely available at Living Waters here).

“Righteous” Richard Chavarria, dressed in his cardinal and gold colors (it’s vitally important to dress right), was next. Unfortunately, he forgot the cardinal rule of open air/stoplight preaching: Take off the sunglasses. People want to see your eyes when you preach, even when they aren’t paying any attention.

As the crowd started to swell, we rotated our preaching assignments.
I got up on the box again…
…then Barry…

…then Richard… rotating the preaching… me… then Barry… Richard… While one preached, the others handed out tracts:
Million dollar bills and custom USC tracts…
…hundreds, thousands of them given away.

Some of the team just handed out tracts, like Steve Davis.
In the 19th century, Charles Spurgeon said that Gospel tracts are “adapted to those persons who have but little power and little ability, but nevertheless, wish to do something for Christ. They may not have the tongue of the eloquent, but they have the hand of the diligent.”

Steve Davis had this type of hand, as did three others on our team.

The crowd was starting to get enormous now, so large in fact, that the police directed the traffic and let people ignore the stoplights completely.
What could we do now, besides just hand out tracts? A solution: Barry brought along his “Half-Mile-Haler,” a portable sound system that could hale a crowd up to a half mile distance. We turned it on and preached to the passing crowd, knowing that God’s Word never returns void. Maybe they would hear only a Scripture verse, a plea, a warning—they might even consider fleeing the wrath to come—as they herded past us like wildebeests in a National Geographic special, like lemmings rushing headlong over a cliff.

At this point, a few drunken knuckleheads thought it wise to plough through the crowd in a golfcart.

Security and the Sheriffs were all over them…
…like red on skin?

Make way! Make way! The SC marching band was coming through!

We did our best to cause them to break formation—million dollar bill style!

Tatsuo Akimine, our daily DMV preacher showed up a little late…
… grabbed the mike and preached on and on. Behold the masses!!!

You’d think that some football fetishists would get angry at all this fundamental foolishness, but no…
…it was all thumb’s up from some quarters.

Two young Asian students came up to us and stated, “You preaching? We’re praying!”
They hunkered down and started praying fervently for our efforts, until I stopped them. “Okay, enough praying. Help us by handing out these tracts!” They did.

Some appreciated our efforts and our literature…

Others didn’t.

The crowd was now a massive mob, moving inexorably toward its destination at the Coliseum. They were moving too fast for us to preach to; we had to do something radical. “Let’s go to the lines entering the Coliseum,” I shouted. “They’ll be backed up hundreds deep! We’ll preach there!” We packed up everything and rushed to the lines. They weren’t hundreds deep; they were thousands deep!

And that’s when we encountered the police!

(Read Part 2 by clicking here!)

Paul wrote that “…the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.” (2 Tim. 4:17)
 

If you have a tale of how God used you to proclaim His message, tell it here!

Do you have change for a million?
That’s what a man was seeking Saturday when he handed a $1 million bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket. The man flew into a rage when the cashier refused and his manager confiscated the Gospel tract. Read the rest of the story here from MSN!

The creator and executive producer of “The Simpsons,” was asked by The New York Times whether he believed in God and what he considers the most comical story in the Bible.
 

“I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs, then sent them off a cliff. What did the pigs do? I could never figure that out. It just seemed very un-Christian. Technically, I’m an agnostic, but I definitely believe in hell — especially after watching the fall TV schedule.”— From a February 1, 1999 profile of Groening in the Denver Post

In the September 6, 2000 edition of The Onion A.V. Club titled “Is There A God?”, Groening was asked this question and he answered it in this way: [He laughs] “Hold on, I have to think about this. [Long pause.] If there is a God, all evidence shows that He hates me.”
—Retrieved from “http://www.celebatheists.com?title=Matt_Groening”

His last words were:

“No.”

Alexander Graham Bell was a Scottish inventor who worked in the United States for most of his life. While he is most famous for creating the telephone, Bell also held an appointment as a professor of vocal physiology at Boston University. There, he fell in love with and married one of his deaf students, Mabel Hubbard. After forty-five years of marriage, Bell was stricken with a fatal illness. As he lay dying, Mabel whispered to him, “Don’t leave me.” In response, Bell signed the word, “No.”
—From Last Words

As you can see, there is a whole line of ridiculous T-shirts that will help you not to share your faith verbally, will advertise undiscerning Christian T.V. viewing habits, and most certainly will dumb down our Christian faith in general.

See other ridiculous “Witness Wear” here.
Thanks again to our friends at A Little Leaven, who allow us to feature their site.

I’m continually amazed at the ridiculous things people do that will ultimately cause death, suddenly. This is why there is an urgency in preaching the Gospel…

According to Join Together, an alcohol abuse treatment website, a Texas man died after receiving an enema full of sherry wine, and his wife was recently cleared of charges of killing him, the Associated Press reported Oct. 4.

 Michael Warner, 58, had a blood-alcohol level of .47 percent — more than five times the legal limit — when he died May 21, 2004. His wife, Tammy Jean Warner, was initially charged with negligent homicide in connection with his death by alcohol poisoning, but those charges were dismissed in late August because of lack of evidence.

Warner said her husband was addicted to enemas and often filled them with alcohol to get drunk.