Stone the Preacher

The adventures continued as I trailed Mad Mike, The Long Island Loudmouth, to another location on the Huntington Pier after he preached—from the pier—to surly surfers between sets during a recent Ambassadors’ Academy evangelism bootcamp….

He now spotted some guys on the south side of the pier engaged in a very fevered volleyball match.

Undaunted by the abuse heaped upon him previously by the surfers when he preached the Gospel, he now did the same thing by asking the players below, by way of a too loud shout, if they had kept God’s Law.
He then warned them to flee from the wrath to come by repenting of their sin and putting their trust in Jesus.

What was the response?

Applause. And more applause.

Mike now has a standing invitation from Paul Latour, an evangelist trapped in the wilds of the liberal frozen North:

“Hey Mike! Get on way up here in Canada for our winter season. You could ride ski lifts on our mountains and preach the gospel to line-ups of skiers way below!”

I learn all kinds of stuff when I go to the Ambassadors’ Academy, a four day intensive evangelism bootcamp from The Way of the Master. Even though I go as a team leader, I am amazed at what some of the ”students” do when encouraged to do more than they think they can do.

Case in point: I met Mike Stockwell, a tough ex-Marine from Long Island (pronounced LonGI-land) who 20 years ago had his guts rearranged in an auto accident the day after he left the Service. But what guts he displayed on the Huntington Beach Pier! I never thought of doing this, and I don’t know that I ever will do it, but Mike did it when he discovered a Great Unreached People Group: Surfers!

I encouraged him to go for it, that is, to preach to the guys in the water. Unafraid and full of the Holy Spirit and power, he cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted down to the thrashers in-between sets.

What were the results as he belted out that they had violated God’s Law by breaking the 10 Commandments and would be found gulity on Judgment Day and end up in Hell? Predictable.

“Huh? Can’t hear yuh!” one surfer shouted. “What?!! What did ya say?!!” another chimed in. Suddenly, the swells were alive with the sound of mock-ing! “Huh!” “What?” “Can’t hear ya!” Then it turned nasty.

“Shut the #$%!#@% up!” “Get out of here ya #$%!#@%!” “You #$%!#@%!” As they blasphemed and cursed, Mike kept right on preaching till the full Gospel was presented. A set came in and then washed everyone away.

What type of a tract do you think a tough guy like Mike would use? Something that would grab the attention and speak of the terribleness of death and Hell, right? Something lean and mean and pointed, aimed at the jugglar, spearing the heart, right? Nope. Mike’s favorite Gospel literature is a kiddie tract! A kiddie tract!

Think I was gonna say anything to a guy built like a brick? Think I would have anything constructive to offer a man who uses kiddie tracts and shouts at surfers in the water?

Of course. I ridiculed him mercilessly about the kiddie tracts. What was his response? He would skip like a little girl and hand out another one.

Oh! The things I learn at the Ambassadors’ Academy.

(On Monday, see what he did next…)

The great unsaved masses can be a dangeous and fickle lot. They’ll love ya one moment and the next? Well…

On “Good News Tuesday” morning I met “Righteous Richard” at the Hawthorne DMV.
Despite his wife being diagnosed with cancer he joined me for a quick open air evangelism session before about 70 people. The Governator’s budget impasse has been very kind to California DMV preachers; the lines are twice as long! And since they can’t open anymore on Saturday, there’s a megachurch to be preached to every Monday through Friday!

We prepare ourselves by putting the very official looking “Department of Annoyance” badge around our necks.
Richard has actually been able to direct the line back onto the sidewalk with his authoritative badge, confidence of command, and dapper appearance by shouting, “Folks, please get out of the driveway and get onto the sidewalk, please!” They obey and get back onto the sidewalk where it’s a lot easier for them to hear our sermon. Unfortunately, I’m a dead give-away because I wear shorts.

Then we hand out a specially adapted DMV tract that is very useful.

Hey! Who wouldn’t want to be welcomed to the DMV? That’s why we do it, and we do it with a smile!

I welcome everyone with a warm, gracious greeting and transition to horrible, terrible statistics about how they may die in a fiery, awful, bloody crash after leaving the DMV.

I conclude my message with, “Don’t trust in Obama, McCain or your being a Catholic or Protestant… trust in Jesus.”

People actually applauded.

On Tuesday afternoon two sheriffs’ vehicles were parked in the AM/PM minimart parking lot awaiting the exodus from Leuzinger High in Lawndale.

Hundreds upon hundreds of teens walk through this area then wait at a very busy intersection to cross the street. That’s where we are.

With the volume turned up so high on our loud speaker that it made some kids cringe and cover their ears, my friend Alfy and I preached on and on.

I then went across the street to a bus stop, stood on the bench and preached some more as the kids waited for their ride home. A grumpy lesbian teenager didn’t like it, demanding that I step down so she could sit. I ignored her, and continued to preach. She protested loudly to her girlfriend and threatened to punch me in a very sensitive area. I continued to ignore her. Finally she yelled, “I paid for this bench; you better come down now!” I gently explained to her that I acually paid for this bench with my taxes, because I work. Her girlfriend laughed and got a kick out of that.

Ten kids took the good person test outside Taco Bell—all failing— then I bought them a late afternoon feast.

All in a day’s work on “Good News Tuesdays”….

“I can’t get Jesus out of my head!”

Those were the words of a very lost, confused and suicidal young man who visited our “Free Intelligence Test” booth at the Fiesta Hermosa street fair last Labor Day weekend.

The conversation started with him coming up to me quite aggressively and stating, “Why are you doing this? No one cares. No one cares about Jesus.” He then proceeded to tell me some truly awful things that happened in his life. The statement that caught my attention was when he said “I can’t get Jesus out of my head.” He made some type of profession of faith years ago, and I believe that God was calling him back through us, here at the fair. The young man then suddenly disappeared into the crowd to get drunk.

The “Einstein I.Q. Test” drew the crowds; we didn’t have to go out to them, they came to us. 

And nearly everyone gets the three sentences in the triangles wrong when they read them. (How did you do? See below for the correct readings.)

Then we lead them into another very fun questionaire that gets people laughing, until we transition into the Gospel presentation. Ed Lee, one of our church’s evangelism leaders and an Ambassadors’ Academy mentor, said that at one point people were lined up five deep—and this is to hear the Gospel (of course, they didn’t know that they would hear it)!

We had over seventy-five volunteers man the booth. And to recruit them, I had to use stong arm tactics that the Gambino Family would have admired. Still, I knew that “non-evangelists” would get excited after they took this step of faith. Here’s one quick testimony:

“It was so exciting to see how many people were willing to wait to have someone talk to them about their “test” even though they knew where the conversation was headed by listening to people ahead of them. I talked to people non-stop for 2 hours and had the thrill of listening to MANY of them pray for forgiveness and salvation. I was SO BLESSED to be a part of that. Thank you for making me sign up for it.”

At the end of the 3-day weekend, we had gone through almost 500 questionaires, and about 20,000 tracts. We preached at the bus stops to untold hundreds (see that preaching here), and many novice evangelists found out how rewarding it was to do something for God.

As Ray Comfort likes to say, “You will go out dragging your feet, but you’ll come back clicking your heels.”

Einstein I.Q. Test answer: “Bird in the the hand,” etc.

(Read what happened at the Memorial Day Fiesta Hermosa here.)

Here are some of the questions we use for this test (these were formerly carried by Living Waters, but are now discontinued.) Make your own surveys and see how fun it is!: (more…)

In March of 2007 I was asked to give the invocation at a local City Council meeting but was told that I couldn’t pray in the name of Jesus. I did anyway, and you can click here to find out what happened.
I vowed that the next time I was asked to pray (though I was told there probably wouldn’t be a next time), I would do something like this.

Well, that time has arrived. I am scheduled to give another invocation tomorrow night at the same council meeting, and Ray Comfort gave me some advice on what to say. Tune in tomorrow to read my strategy…

My friend, Brian Metzger, is a public school teacher in the the L.A. area who has found a great way to share his faith using “solid curriculum [that is] within the parameters of church/state separation.” Maybe other faithful servants in this arena of education will be as bold.
(This is part 3 of my “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” series. Read parts 1 & 2 by starting here.)

As a public school teacher and an Evangelical Christian, I take very seriously the balancing act between my faith and my professional ethics. These are the accepted guidelines: I can answer questions about my personal beliefs and experiences in class discussions. I can explain the Bible as literature and in terms of its impact on history. I can not, and I never would, preach to my students or pray with them during school time. Within those limits there are still opportunities to be a witness to the power of faith in Jesus Christ.

I keep a Bible on my desk and students are free to borrow it. Interestingly we were at one point provided with Korans, beautifully bound expensive looking editions in English, to have available in our classrooms. We were later instructed to dispose of these particular volumes when someone noticed that the footnotes repeatedly referred to Jews as dogs.

One great moment for me is when we study the Puritans in American Literature and we get to discuss Jonathan Edward’s “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”.

“There is the dreadful pit of the glowing flames of the wrath of God; there is hell’s wide gaping mouth open; and you have nothing to stand upon, nor any thing to take hold of, there is nothing between you and hell but the air; it is only the power and mere pleasure of God that holds you up.”

Here is the opportunity, indeed the pedagogical necessity, to talk about Hell and Heaven, judgment and salvation. I have the chance to ask them what they believe and do they think they are going to Heaven or Hell, and, if they ask what Edwards means by “Christ has thrown the door of mercy wide open and stands in calling and crying with a loud voice to poor sinners” then I have the joyous responsibility to explain the biblical plan of salvation.

A teacher hopes to impact his students’ lives for the better. A Christian teacher in a public school cannot, generally speaking, tell his students the one thing which he knows would truly change their lives and eternities.

Thank you Jonathan Edwards for that chance.

Read part 4 here!

See a very cool video that Brian’s family made using the entire text of the Gospel of John here.

Some people call them “captive audiences.” I like “Organic Congregations” better; it’s more PC (Preacher Correct).

You’ll hear the occasional hoot or holler from the man or woman standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles, or Social Security office, or the local courthouse when a preacher starts preaching to those Hellbound souls queued up and doing nothing but awaiting there eternal destiny before the doors open: “Not fair!” they’ll scream in protest. “We’re a captive audience!”

Nope. Organic congregation.

Whole souls, naturally grown, no hormones, no artificial flavors and locally available.

Organic congregations can be found at bus stops, traffic lights, inside elevators—or at a very long line nearest you.

You may have the only preservative people will ever need, preserving them for a long and happy eternal shelf life.

No plastic bags, please.

Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892) wrote:

The great benefit of open-air preaching is that we get so many newcomers to hear the Gospel who otherwise would never hear it. The Gospel command is, “Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature,” but it is so little obeyed that one would imagine that it ran thus, “Go into your own place of worship and preach the Gospel to the few creatures who will come inside.” “Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in”— albeit it constitutes part of a parable, is worthy to be taken very literally, and in so doing its meaning will be best carried out.

We ought actually to go into the streets and lanes and highways, for there are lurkers in the hedges, tramps on the highways, street-walkers and lane-haunters, whom we shall never reach unless we pursue them into their own domains. Sportsmen must not stop at home and wait for the birds to come and be shot at, neither must fishermen throw their nets inside their boats and hope to take many fish. Traders go to the markets; they follow their customers and go out after business if it will not come to them; and so must we. Some of our brethren are prosing on and on to empty pews and musty hassocks, while they might be conferring lasting benefit upon hundreds by quitting the old walls for a while, and seeking living stones for Jesus. —From “Open-Air Preaching - A Sketch Of Its History And Remarks Thereon”

Photos for this post are from the following articles:
“USC, Upset”
“Preaching at American Idol”
“Terrorists in the Elevator”
“Porta-Potty Preaching”